Tales from Hayate's House
by The Shiny Sword
Summary: A bunch of too-short-to-be-one-shots drabbles about the Wolkenritter because they need love too.
1. You learn something new everyday

A/N: Bit of a warning a little bit of OOCness ahead… well sort of. This storydrabblething takes place between the end of the plot part of StrikerS and before Riot Six is disbanded.

Disclaimer: I don't own Nanoha if I did this wouldn't be Fanfiction.

Zafira had always had a unique position among the Wolkenritter. As the only male member and the only guardian beast member he had a tough time relating to the others, even more so after he decided to reside primarily in wolf form. Vita had always respected him though, she respected his stubbornness, his constant seriousness, as well as his tough ruggedly testosterone manner (which when you've been around Yuuno for so long you learn to appreciate), his one track mind and the fact let people pet him. Vita didn't actually know much about him, despite spending several hundred years around the blue wolf. She knew his favorite spot to be scratched was just behind his right ear, she knew he adored meat and refused to eat anything else unless Hayate ordered him to or it was hidden from view, she knew he found it below his dignity to be in puppy form, but other then that he was really an enigma. Maybe that was why she could think of no possible reason for Zafira's current position sitting still as a statue by the door to the women's restroom.

"Oi Zafira what are you doing? Hoping someone will open the door and you can slip inside?" The red haired hammer knight stopped in front of the blue wolf, a playful smirk etched on her face.

"I'm waiting for Vivio," Zafira stated moving his head to look up at her. "What else would I be doing?" He cocked his head, of course he was, he had been looking after the child while her mothers worked for a while now.

"Then why aren't you in there," she jabbed her thumb towards the door, "doesn't babysitting her require you to you know watch after her," the small warrior folded her hands behind her head.

"I tried to go with her but,"—he turned his head away with a wistful look, "she told me to wait here. She's growing up."

Vita blinked; if she wasn't mistaken there was a tear in the corner of his eye. "Z-Zafira." How was she supposed to deal with this?! Diversion! Yes diversion. "So how many days a week do you watch over her exactly?"

"Five no matter what... sometimes more… but soon she'll be going to school," diversion failed more tears were coming. "They just grow so fast," Zafira sniffed.

Vita was on the verge of panicking, she didn't deal with crying well, "Isn't that what one of her mothers should be saying."

"One day she was calling me puppy and now she's going to the bathroom all by herself. She doesn't need me anymore," Zafira sighed as best the wolf could.

"Uh… she still needs you," Vita awkwardly patted his back. By nature Via was not the comforting type, she was the destroy your problems with a hammer person, and when the giant wolf laid down on his stomach laying his head between his paws in a manner that could only be called depressed, she had absolutely no idea what the hell she was supposed to do. "We uh… we all need you. You're… you're a valuable member of our family."

"It's a lie. I'm completely useless," Zafira gave a mournful howl. "Hayate's stronger then me, Shamal never leaves the base so she never needs guarding," another howl. "The once great Zafira reduced to a mere babysitter, to a girl who won't need him much longer." People were starting to stare at them, Vita shot them her best do-you-want-to-be-demoted glare.

"There… there," she scratched that magic place behind his ear, praying Hayate would call up with an urgent mission, preferably one far far away, that would take days. Thankfully the opening of the bathroom door brought a distraction.

"Zaffy!" Zafira was tackled by his little charge.

"Did you remember to wash your hands?" The depression that had formerly graced the canine's features was now gone, replaced by what could only be called a motherly expression.

Vivio immediately let go of him and ran back into restroom, remerging half a minute later with wet hands. "Let's go!" She cheered.

"One minute," he reached up a paw and began smoothing the girl's hair while Vita's mouth hung open. When he had finished with her hair he moved to straightening her dress with a care Vita had never seen him give anything. When he seemingly deemed her presentable he spoke again, "Alright let's go." Zafira bent down allowing the girl to climb on top of his back like a horse.

Vita watched the two start down the hall, still in shock from Zafira's display of motherly affection, Zafira's tail in a full out wag. It was then that it hit Vita, the truth about Vivio's parentage, Vivio didn't have two moms… she had three.

A/N: Yeah I'm not positive where that came from either. I wanted to write something about Zafira since the guy gets no love whatsoever (arguably because he gets no screen time whatsoever) and then I saw that screenshot where he's in the bathroom holding Vivio's handkerchief and it just kind of came out. Well I wanted to post a bunch of too-short-to-be-one-shots drabbles about the Wolkenritter anyway. Love it? Hate it? Tell me, I won't stop but I might improve.


	2. Agito and Rein’s SSESE!

A/N: In case you didn't notice the rating has gone up due to… implied events in this short. Like the last one this drabble/oneshot monstrosity goes somewhere between the end of StrikerS's plot and the epilogue.

**Agito and Rein's Super Special Exciting Secret Expedition! **

**(as named by Rein)**

Paperwork was boring. After an entire week of nothing but going over document after document, this was the conclusion Agito had come to. The unison device sighed and put down her Agito-sized pencil (Aka the broken off tip of a normal sized one), working for the TSAB was supposed to be exciting, harrowing missions, daring rescues and duels to the death, all by the side of her supposed master Signum. Except Agito had barely seen her master since she assigned the fiery munchkin to office duty. If she had known this was what she was getting into she would have chosen to stay a fugitive, at least that would have been interesting.

The paperwork itself might have been mildly bearable if it didn't involve working with_her._ Having to be around the silver haired, eternally peppy, totally naïve, way too nice Reinforce II all the time was slowly driving Agito insane. Anyone who could be _happy_ doing paperwork was not right in the head. Just seeing Rein, sitting at her desk in front of Agito's, humming a happy tune as she signed paper after paper, made Agito's blood boil.

Agito snickered as a mischievous little idea formed in her head. She tore the corner of the paper she was supposed to be writing (no small feat as it was a normally sized piece of paper) and crumpled it into a ball then lobbed it at the back of Rein's head.

Rein jumped up, looking to the left and to the right for the source of the attack, a look of total confusion on her face. She probably wouldn't have even thought to look behind her if Agito's giggling hadn't given her away.

"A-Agito-chan!" Rein pouted, "that wasn't nice."

"'Oi!" Agito chucked another paper ball at Rein, "What's with the chan what's with the chan!?"

"But Hayate-chan said you're supposed to call your friends that!" Rein flailed her arms in the air.

"Well we're not friends!"

"Why are you so mean Agito-chan!"

"Not Chan midget!"

"I'm not a midget Rein is the same size as Agito-chan!"

"Nuh uh I'm at least a centimeter taller!" Agito straightened up to prove her point.

Rein gave a little hmph then sat down trying to go back to her paper work. Agito yawned and sat down in her chair, she had managed to not be bored for a whole two minutes. Now the excitement was over and Agito was bored again. Maybe something around the office would entertain her. Coffee machine? Boring. Pencil jar? Boringer. Other TSAB agents forced to do monotonous paper work? Boreingest. Airshaft? Hey now that was interesting. Agito floated out of her chair and towards the shaft and the ceiling.

"Agito-chan?" Agito cringed at the nickname, "Where are you going?"

"Somewhere where you can't come," she turned and stuck out her tongue before turning back the shaft and starting to unscrew the screws holding down the airshaft's gate.

"Why not?" Rein had now floated up next to the red head.

"Because I said so!"

Reins cheeks puffed up, "Rein can go where she wants!"

"I thought you loved paperwork so why don't you go back to your desk and do some!" Agito got one of the screws off and moved to another one.

"Hmph!" Rein crossed her arms and turned away. "I was going to help you but now I won't."

"Fine," Agito tugged off another one moving on the last screw. "I didn't want you're help in the first place."

"Good 'cause I'm not offering help anymore."

"I just said I didn't want it!" Slam! With a final pull Agito removed the last screw and allowed the grate to fall to the ground. "Now I am leaving and you are staying here." With that statement Agito zoomed into the shaft.

"But Agito-chan," Rein followed Agito into the tunnel. "We're supposed to be working."

"Stupid! Don't talk so loudly in here it echoes!" Despite her statement Agito herself was yelling.

"Don't call me stupid!" The echo from Rein's yell caused Agito to cover her ears and pray they wouldn't burst.

"Okay okay fine," Agito switched to a whisper, "you can come just don't yell and don't bother me."

"YAY!" Agito cringed at Rein's happy and very loud exclamation. Rein blushed, "I mean yay."

Agito sighed and started to float down the metallic hall, so much for an exciting adventure, now she was stuck with her.

"Agito and Rein's Super Special Exciting Secret Adventure begins!" Rein cheered in a rather loud whisper.

"Don't give it such a stupid name."

"Meanie."

They continued to hover down the hall like shaft, the two of them enjoyed the size for them it was like a normal hall. The continued on in silence until the path split.

"Let's go left!" Rein declared eagerly.

"Echo," Agito groaned rubbing her aching ears. "Besides I think we should go right."

"But in a maze you always want to go left to find the exit!"

"But we're in an airshaft not a maze," Agito pointed out the obvious. "So it doesn't matter."

"But" Rein whined.

"Fine you go left I'll go right," Agito shrugged and headed right.

"W-wait up Agito-chan!"

Agito sighed as the perpetually annoying girl caught up, she'd never be rid of her!

"Where's that go?" Rein pointed to the up coming grate.

"Dead end I guess," Agito turned around, "maybe we should have gone left."

"Hey look it's Vita-chan!"

Vita? Now that sounded fun. Agito turned back around towards the dead end where Rein was apparently peering through the wall. As she floated up besides Rein Agito realized the dead end was just another grate. Peering through it like Rein she saw very clearly into the other room.

Inside the room were Vita and Hayate. At least Agito was pretty sure that was Vita. Her hair was out of its normal pigtails and tied up with a giant pink bow. Instead of the TSAB uniform, she was wearing the most gaudy pink dress Agito had ever seen in her life. Complete with lace, bows and frills it made Vita look like a giant doll, which, if Hayate's pleased look meant anything, seemed to be exactly what Hayate was treating her as.

"You're so cute Vita-chan!" Hayate circled the girl like a vulture, taking pictures like a mad woman or a creepy photographer at an anime convention.

"R-really?" Vita blushed while playing with the skirt, she twirled a little, "it is kind of fun."

Agito had to hold in the laughter that threatened to explode out of her for fear of being discovered, after all, she had no urge to be on Graf Eisen's receiving end. She only wished the grate wasn't in the way so she could take pictures too, this was the perfect blackmail.

"Aww I want to play dress up with Hayate-chan too." Rein pouted her disappointment apparent.

"You actually want to do this?"

"Yeah! Sometimes Hayate-chan makes these really really cute costumes for Rein to wear!" Rein seemed very proud about this fact. Agito made a silent note never to be alone in a room with Hayate.

"We better move on," Agito mentally slapped herself, she said we, "I don't want them to find us up here." Agito moved away from the grate and started back the way they came. Rein followed her.

This time, much to Rein's pleasure, they went left at the intersection and they went left again when they found another one. As they approached the next dead end/grate voices started to float in, making it apparent who was in the room.

"Would you like some more tea Mr. Flobbles?" Vivio poured imaginary tea from a tea pot into her pink bunny's pot. The little girl then moved on to the other stuffed animals sitting around the round white table. "Don't worry Mr. Rabrab," she poured pretend tea into the cup of another rabbit who looked suspiciously like the stuffed toy Vita slept with every night. One by one she poured "tea" into the cups two bears, a lion, a mushroom, a very familiar looking ferret, an elephant, a duck and a hippopotamus, man the kid had a lot of toys. Then she got to her last guest. Agito had to bite her fist to keep from laughing. "Would you like some tea Zaffy?"

The blue puppy spoke in a deep voice that didn't match his current body, "Yes."

"Yes what?"

He sat up straighter coughing slightly, "I mean yes please."

"Good boy." She scratched under his chin. "Oh no your hat is crooked!"

Zafira stood perfectly still as Vivio fixed the bright pink sun bonnet on his head. It looked like it belonged to the outfit Vita had been wearing in the other room. If that wasn't bad enough, it appeared Vivio had practiced applying makeup on him. The purple eye shadow definitely didn't go with his eyes, neither did the hot pink rouge or the bright red lipstick.

"Aww everyone's having fun," Rein sighed. "I want to play too."

Agito would have had a witty retort but she didn't dare remove her hand for fear of very loud laughter. She simply floated away before she exploded from contained laughter.

After they were a safe distance away and back at the intersection, Agito finally let go of her very loud laughter. "I will never look at him the same way again."

Rein counted on her fingers as the two of them started down the untaken path, "We've seen Hayate, and Vita and Zafira. So next should be Signum or Shamal!"

"It can't be Signum," Agito crossed her arms and shook her head "She's on a very important mission. So she's not in the building."

"So Shamal then?" Rein tilted her head to the side, "We should be near her office."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well I'm not sure but it'd make sense right?"

"I don't know this building's layout makes no sense," Agito shrugged.

"Oh oh oh look another one!" Rein floated towards the newest grate.

Agito's face turned a light red as some very… awkward sounds entered the shaft. "R-Rein I don't think we should go over there!"

It was too late though Rein was already looking. "Hmm?" She sounded curious, "What are they doing?"

Agito gulped and floated beside her, her face turning bright red as she saw what was undeniably two people in the midst of passion. She quickly turned away but not before she saw a blur of pink hair. "Wait a minute." If Signum was supposed to be on a mission then why was she- unless… the pieces came together. Agito turned her attention to the lovers to confirm her revelation. The long pink hair and the short blond hair could only belong to two people. "SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING ON A MISSION!" She shook the grate angrily. Signum put Agito on paper duty so Signum could go romp around with her girlfriend in the infirmary no less! That couldn't be healthy. And what would happen if someone got injured, oh sorry the doctor can't help you now she's a bit occupied at the moment.

"Umm… Agito-chan," Rein apparently didn't notice Agito rage, "What are they doing?"

Agito's rage was immediately replaced by utter embarrassment. "You don't know?"

"Don't know what?" A look of pure innocence adorned her face.

"Uh… about the um… game yeah they're playing a game…" Even Vivio would have been able to see through that lie.

"Oh I see," But apparently Rein bought it. She contemplated this new (false) information. "But won't they get cold?

"C-cold?"

"Because they're not wearing any clothes."

"Uh well you see…" Agito waved her hands in the air, "the point of the game is to get each others clothes off and er… keep each other warm with your body heat."

"Oh I see!" She nodded happily, "Then how do you win?"

"Uh… well it's not that kind of game. It's more like a game you play for enjoyment."

Rein looked thoughtful for a minute then she tackled Agito, "Rein wants to play!"

"W-what! It's a game you only play with people you like!" Agito tried to shove the way too friendly unison device, who was currently trying to unbutton her jacket, off of her.

Rein sat up, "But I like you!"

"Not that kind of like," Agito sat up, crossing her arms and legs as she did, trying to figure out how exactly she was supposed explain this, it was very hard to concentrate with the lovebirds in the background. "Well… you know Fate and Nanoha how they're all lovey dovy."

"Uh huh uh huh," Rein nodded to show she followed.

"Well they play games like that."

"Oh…"

"Uh… do you get it now?"

"I think so."

"We should probably get going, unless we want to get charged with voyeurism," She headed back to main shaft.

"What's voyeurism?"

"I'll save that lesson for another day."

"Okay."

Due to the very bizarre set up of the building (Agito had long decided she didn't want to know how it work) they easily made it back to their offices within a few minutes.

"And that's the end of Agito and Rein's Super Special Exciting Secret Expedition!" Rein announced as they left the airshaft. "We should do that again sometime!"

"Yeah yeah whatever," Agito looked around for a clock, "Is it lunch time yet I'm starving?" They had to have spent an hour in the shaft, 45 minutes at least.

"It is exactly eleven o'clock!" Rein reported happily.

Agito's mouth hung open, "But we left at 10:45!" She flailed around in the air, "We were only gone for fifteen minutes!"

"But I still had fun," Rein giggled and pecked Agito's cheek before going back to her desk.

Agito's face lit up, attempting to match the color of her hair. She brought a little hand up to her tingling cheek, Rein was still stupid…but maybe she was a little less stupid then before… maybe. Agito sat down at her desk and groaned, paperwork still sucked though.

A/N: That turned out a lot longer then I meant for it to get. It became a one shot without my noticing laughs My summary's a lie now. Before anyone tells me I made the Signum and Shamal too OOC that was kind of the point, after all what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. The other three, though, would totally do those things, Hayate could tell Vita to go around singing the hokey pokey and she would do it, and Hayate is Miss Sekuhara-I-like-to-grope-my-knights (It's in one of the Sound Stages I swear!) so dressing up Vita would be the least of her crimes. As for Zafira… I admit that I find it fun to put Zafira in ridiculous positions caused by Vivio. I also admit to thinking AgitoXRein would be adorable. Love it? Hate it? Think it was mildly amusing? Please tell me.


	3. Game Night

A/N: Actually these are 4 really short drabbles I put together due to their related theme.

Disclaimer: I don't own Nanoha nor do I own Clue, Monopoly, Life, or Risk.

"Hmm…" Zafira stared intently at the cards in his hand, every twenty or so seconds he would look from his cards to the board then back to his cards.

"Um… Zafira it has been ten minutes," Shamal chuckled nervously, trying to break the tension in the room. "Do you have the ballroom, the knife or Ms. Plum?"

Zafira scratched his chin, "I might or… I might not."

"JUST SHOW HER A CARD!" Vita jumped up slamming her palms on the table, "OR IT'S GOING TO BE VITA IN THE LIVING ROOM WITH THE HAMMER!"

Zafira looked up nonchalantly at the red-haired knight, "I pass."

"YOU WHAT!" Signum had to hold Vita back as she attempted to jump across the table and smash in Zafira's skull.

"Well it's not like I can read," He crossed his arms, "And the rooms all look the same to me."

"YOU WHAT-!" Vita broke free from Signum, jumping on the table and proceeding to knock the game board off in the process.

Hayate clapped her hands together, instantly freezing her knights in their tracks, Vita in mid-swing, Zafira in mid-block, Shamal in mid-trying-to-ignore-them, Signum in mid-grimace and Rein in mid-panic-attack. "Maybe Clue's not the right game to play."

* * *

"Oh it appears you just landed on my hotel Vita," Shamal clapped her hands to her cheek with a look that could only be described as sadistic pleasure. "Oh ho ho, how many million is that." 

"But I can't afford that!" Vita madly counted the little paper bills she had piled up. "You know I can't afford that!"

The smallest member of their family gasped, "If Vita is in debt Rein will give money to her!" She struggled to pick up the paper that was nearly her size.

"No no," Hayate gently stopped the girl, " there's no need it's just a game."

"If you can't pay I'll happily take your property," the blond smiled evily.

"You can't do that! Hayate" Vita grabbed her arm pleadingly, "Tell her she can't do it."

"Actually she can," Hayate rubbed the back of her head apologetically.

"Shamal you're being a tyrant!" Vita complained.

"Not a tyrant,"—her creepy laugh followed, "A tycoon."

Zafira sighed "They're a bit…"

"…frightening," Signum finished.

* * *

"Oh I have to stop and get married!" Hayate giggled as she moved her car to the stop space. She was about to place a blue peg next to her pink one when a very loud complaint was voiced. 

"I do not approve!" Vita yelled crossing her arms. "Who exactly are you marrying anyway?!"

Hayate actually seemed to take think about the question, looking from the blue peg to the ceiling to Vita, "Well since it's a guy I guess Yuuno or Zafira."

Zafira got a very bad feeling as a certain red head turned her death glare on him. A very bad feeling.  
"Za-fi-ra," Vita growled every syllable.

"Don't worry Vita," Zafira felt relief flow over him at their leader's calm voice, that was until a cold hand clapped him on the shoulder and attempted to remove it with sheer force. "Zafira wouldn't do anything like that right?"

He couldn't nod fast enough.

"That is right though, Zafira is the only male in a house of woman," Shamal placed a hand to her cheek, "I'm afraid to think of what goes through his head."

"W-what!"

"But guys!" Rein broke in. Everyone turned to the floating device, "Zafira's a dog so he can't marry Hayate!"

Everyone blinked.

"Ah yes that's true isn't it," Signum chuckled.

"Of course how silly," Shamal giggled.

Vita smirked, "Right right."

"I'm a wolf."

Hayate sighed.

* * *

"Vita say goodbye to Brazil!" Shamal crackled manically as she wiped Vita off the map. 

Vita's mouth hung open, "N-no way."

In a single motion Shamal swept Vita's measly three men off the space and moved her own in, thereby completing the map… except for one little country.

It could be safely said that Signum was fearless. She would face any enemy in any number, she would take any mission, but now as Shamal's evil gaze turned to her tiny little stronghold in Indonesia she could safely say she was terrified. "S-Shamal," Signum gulped.

"Oh ho ho ho," Maniacal laughter rung through the house and Hayate silently swore never to let them play board games again.

A/N: I'm sorry the 2nd and the 4th ones are really similar, but uber competitive Shamal is too fun to write. Shamal always hit me as the kind of person who's really nice in everyday normal settings but is really competitive when it comes to games like Monopoly and Risk where the point is total domination. If you have the time and something to say please review.


	4. Hayate's House

A/N: This takes place soon after the second chapter of the A's to StrikerS manga Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.

* * *

The first day Shamal tried to find the Wolkenritter a new house she had been hopeful, the third she still had a glimmer of hope but by the eighth day of hunting she was positive all she was getting were the dregs.

"And here we have a lovely one bedroom house," the realtor, Shamal's third, showed her what could only be called a shack. The "one bedroom house" was roughly the size of Hayate's room, maybe smaller.

Shamal sighed, "It's just well…," Shamal was having trouble finding a nice way to say, this house sucks.

"What do you think sir?" The realtor turned to Zafira, who had been dragged along by Shamal (in full fledged human form (complete with no fluffy ears/tail)) when everyone else delegated the task to her.

Zafira shrugged, "It's er… okay… I guess."

The realtor, far too eager to make a quick commission, turned to Shamal, "Well it appears your husband likes it."

Shamal's eye twitched, "Are you implying I look like the sort of woman who would marry a man like him."

"What kind of man exactly am I?"

"Oh unwed lovers I see," the realtor gave them a sly look, "Well this space is perfect for _intimate occasions_," she winked.

Shamal and Zafira were both torn between throwing up at the idea of "intimate occasions" between the two of them and strangling the realtor for suggesting such a thing. Luckily for their realtor, who didn't sense her danger, they suppressed their urges.

"Well," Shamal tried to keep certain images out of her mind, "we're looking for something bigger. There are six of us-."

"Oh my!" the realtor gasped, "Unwed with so many children!" She turned to Zafira with a stern glare, "It's about time you make an honest woman of her."

Zafira blinked and backed up. He shot Shamal a panicked look, "I'm…um… sorry?"

"There seems to be a bit of a misunderstanding," Shamal tried to fix the problem, "We haven't had any children."

A shocked look fell over the conclusion jumping realtor, "So he's not their father?!"

Shamal's fist clenched, why was it people always assumed she was a mother! Shamal didn't look a day over 25…28 at most… maybe 35 on a really bad day. Zafira swore she started to emit a truly evil aura. "Thank you very much," Shamal spoke through tightly clenched teeth, "But I don't think we'll be buying a house today." She gripped Zafira's hand with more force then the wolf would have thought the healer could manage. "Come on _honey_." With the strength of ten Shamal's plus two, Shamal dragged a trembling, whimpering Zafira away.

* * *

"I'm starting to think there isn't a house on Mid-Childa that will work for all of us," Shamal sighed and collapsed on Hayate's L shaped couch. Somehow she and Zafira had managed to get home without any casualties (except Zafira's hand, he claimed it started turning blue from Shamal cutting off his circulation, Shamal said he was imagining things)

"You'll find a place eventually," Vita called out from the kitchen where she was rooting around in the refrigerator, "Besides," –she walked into the living room with a bottle of milk—"I thought you liked to do housewifey things. That's why we left it to you."

"Cooking's a housewife-like thing why don't you let me do that?"

"Because we like living."

"Perhaps you're setting your standards too high," their solemn leader spoke up from her spot on the couch before Shamal had a chance to do something she'd regret later. "You won't be able to find a house as good as this one."

"'Cause Hayate's house is the best!" Rein cheered as she zoomed around Signum's head.

Vita sighed very loudly, causing all eyes to turn to her. "I don't wanna leave Hayate's house!" She sounded all of six when she whined. It was surprising to see Vita acting the way she looked. "I don't care about moving to Mid-Childa but I don't want to leave this house!"

"It has been a good house," Shamal sighed, "Almost like a member of the family. I really don't want to leave it either." They all feel into a depressed silence.

"Rein has an idea!" Rein's loud declaration interrupted their brooding. "What if we take Hayate-chan's house and move it with us!"

Vita poked the little unison device's cheek. "And how exactly do you plan on moving it?"

"Um…well…I'll," she fluttered around in circles, "use a giant teleportation spell!"

"And you can manage a spell like that?" Even for Rein moving a house would be impossible.

"Hmph!" She puffed out her cheeks and crossed her arms, "Vita's a bully!"

"That…might work," Signum appeared to be giving it serious contemplation.

Shamal reached over and felt Signum's forehead, "Do you feel alright?"

"If we can get him to agree…"

* * *

"YOU WANT ME TO WHAT WITH MY SHIP!" Chrono wasn't sure what was more insane, the idea itself or the people who thought it up.

"Well we were hoping you would allow us use of your mass transporter," Shamal chuckled nervously.

"And tell me again, I'm not sure I heard you right, why do you need a mass transporter?" Chrono leaned back in his giant admiral chair.

"To move our house."

"And you can't just buy another one _why?_" Chrono rubbed his forehead, "It's just a house."

"It's not just a house!" The bobbing top of Vita's head popped up on the screen, "It's Hayate's house!"

"And why should I help you move 'Hayate's house'?" Chrono yawned. "It could get me in trouble."

"Look how hard it could be," Vita's head rose up a few inches, reveling her eyes, she was standing on her tiptoes now. "You go in zap our house and move it to the empty plot we bought on Mid."

"Mass transport was designed for large trash loads that could be moved to open spaces not taking houses and moving them to exact locations," he rubbed his temple, as the Asura's captain he had a lot of work to do and no time to deal with this. "One wrong move and I could land your house on top of someone or in an already occupied space."

"But," Signum enter his view, "you're not the type to make a mistake correct?" A small smirk crew on her face, "unless you're not as good as you make yourself out to be?"

Chrono froze, "You're not implying that I can't do it are you?"

"If you won't help us we'll have no choice but to assume that now won't we."

She was good, she knew very well how to wound Chrono's pride. "Look I can do it I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Oh is that Shamal-san," Amy walked up behind Chrono's big chair, leaning over her husband's shoulder. "Is Chrono giving you trouble?"

"Ah hello Amy-san," Shamal took over again, "It's good to see you again. Chrono's not a problem at but he is putting the tiniest hitch in our move."

"Oh well I'm sure Chrono will be happy to help you." She turned to her husband, "Won't you?"

"But Amy I can't use the Asura for something like that!" When Amy's eyes turned deadly Chrono knew he had too, or he'd be sleeping on the porch for a long long time. "Who's setting up a barrier on earth?"

"Zafira and Rein are there now," Shamal reported.

"And I suppose you're in the new location?"

Shamal responded by moving the screen to show the empty plot. "I'm sending you the location now."

Chrono sighed dejectedly, for an admiral he sure didn't have much control over his ship.

* * *

To make a long and boring techno jargon filled story short, it worked without a hitch, Chrono really was skilled with his ship. The Wolkenritter were happy to find Hayate's house was completely intact. The only little problem was the fact that the Wolkenritter kind of… forgot to inform their mistress of the move. As a result Hayate was quite surprised to find her house completely gone, a for sale sign in its place and the neighbors discussing rapid demolition. She and her knights hand a _long_ talk when she got home.

* * *

A/N: Remember Hayate's House the world. This drabble/almost oneshot was inspired by the fact the Wolkenritter moving to Mid-Childa means they left behind Hayate's house. I'm really sorry if I got Chrono's character wrong I'm not a huge fan of him and I had to go by memory because I didn't feel like rewatching his scenes (does that make me lazy '). Please review if you get a chance. 


	5. Magical Babysitter Lyrical Vita!

Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN blah blah blah di blah

**Magical Babysitter Lyrical Za—Vita?!**

Vita was going to kill that dog. She wasn't going to kill him quickly, oh no that'd be far too merciful. He didn't deserve that kind of pity. She would do it slowly, Graf Eisen wouldn't tell anyone…

Then again if Vita got blood on the carpet again Hayate would kill _her. _Then there was only way to get the deed done. Vita wondered how she could convince Shamal to whip up a batch of double chocolate chip cookies.

She crossed her arms and her head sunk down, but how the hell was she going to get out of _this. _

"Vi-vi stop move!" Vivio complained and tugged on one of Vita's ponytails.

"'oi that hurts," Vita grunted.

"It's time for your makeover!"

"I like how I look."

"But… but," suddenly her voice grew quite sad. Too sad. Vita looked behind her. Tears had welled up in the corner of Vivio's eyes. Vita's eyes grew wide as she started to panic. She was crying?! What was she supposed to do? She looked left then right, no one around to save her now. Vita sucked up her pride.

"Uh… well… um…" Vita gulped. "Makeover!" she ordered. "Now."

"Ah! Yeah yeah!" Vivio clapped her hands together happily. "Super makeover time!"

Zafira owed her big time.

* * *

"Ahhh… ahhh…ahhh…ahhhCHOOOROOWWWW!" Meanwhile in Hayate's house a used tissue covered dog eared man moaned. "Nrgh…"

Shamal poked her head into the bedroom that had been converted into an infirmary. "Oh poor Zafira, don't worry I'll go whip up some soup and be right back."

"No nrgh ahchrow! Please anything but—AhCHOW!" Zafira's stupid sniffles kept interrupting him.

"Oh no your fever must be affecting your judgment," Shamal shook her head sympathetically. "Don't worry I'll get you all the soup you need. Oh you're so touched you're crying."

There certainly were tears running down the warriors face, but these were not joyous tears, no not joyous tears at all. Someone up there hated him. They hated him a lot.

* * *

And they hated Vita too.

"Pink or purple!" Vivio cheerfully inquired.

Pink or purple what, Vita wanted to know but was far too afraid to ask.

"Pull it out pull it out" Vivio sung her little song as she painfully tugged out Vita's braids.

"Hey those are attached," Vita grumbled half-heartedly. She was starting to understand Zafira. She didn't particularly want to tell the kid no. At this rate Vivio was going to end up a spoiled brat.

Vita felt more yanking at her hair; apparently the midget was weaving it. Suddenly it stopped. Vita looked up to see a happily humming Vivio rummaging in her "makeover kit".

Vivio popped back up, "close your eyes please!"

Vita eyed her suspiciously, "and why should I?"

Vivio rolled her eyes and sighed exasperatedly. Vita wondered where Vivio had learned to do that. "So it's a surprise. Duh." She giggled ruining her annoyed image.

Vita closed her eyes against her better judgment. This couldn't be a good idea.

More rummaging. Vivio poked Vita's side. "Arms please." What did Vivio need with her arms? Vita obeyed and sighed, there was no going back.

* * *

"And… open!"

Rainbow… Vita opened her eyes, why was she seeing rainbows? It took a good ten seconds for Vita to realize those rainbows were her finger nails. Lovely, because she didn't look enough like a seven year old.

"Here here here!" Vivio shoved a mirror in Vita face. Vita's fingernails weren't the only multicolored thing about her. Vivio had used seemingly every possible color of blush, rouge, eye shadow and lipstick to turn Vita's face into a canvas. Her lovely face was topped off by the dozen of hair tuffs tied off messily with bands of all sorts. Vita wanted to scream. She couldn't think of a way to get home and not meet anyone on the way.

"Do you like it do you like it?" She was so eager, so cheerful.

Vita sucked up her pride, "it's great. I… lo…ve it… really." She forced herself to grin anyone but Vivio would have seen right through it.

"Yay," Vivio tackled-hugged the sub-commander. Vita shrugged, as long as it was between the two of them it was no big deal.

"Hey Vita, thanks for looking after—" Nanoha was halfway through the door when she froze. She tried to hide it, she really really tried. Vita could see how she attempted to keep it all in. But—"NYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Nanoha had to lean on the door for support.

"ZAFIRA!!"

"AHHHHHHHHCHOOOROWWWWW!"

A/N: After a very long absence I've finally returned this time thanks to a picture posted by Evil Rick of the AnimeSuki Nanoha Fanfiction forum.


	6. Her least favorite day

A/N: I started this one around Valentine's day but never finished it. A comment on the AS board by Allquall spurred me into finishing it.

Vita hated Valentine's day. She hated it with a passion. She had hoped when she moved to Mid-Childa she would be rid of the accursed holiday once and for all. Oh how wrong she was. It seemed a couple dozen years ago the chocolate makers' favorite holiday had come here via Earth mages. For the past month Vita had been subjected to non-stop advertisements for chocolates, jewelry, flowers, and romantic getaways.

At least in Japan Vita had had an important task to do every time the accursed holiday came along. Vita had taken it upon herself to make sure every boy Hayate gave chocolates to understood that they were purely platonic chocolates and Hayate was definitely not interested in them (leading Hayate to wonder exactly why no one ever asked her out). But on Mid she had no such task and such she had nothing to distract herself from the mushy gushy lovefest that was Valentine's day.

The day hadn't started out well; first Vita had been rudely awakened by the door bell and a delivery of several dozen flower bouquets, all for Hayate from her many admirers. Then when she got to work it seemed everyone had some sort of gift, whether heart shaped boxes or giant arrangements of flowers, and if they hadn't gotten it yet it was inevitable that they would later, followed by a cringe inducing squeal of joy. Except for Vita, Vita's desk alone remained devoid of any floral accompaniments or sweets, not that she particularly cared. One look at Nanoha's desk and Vita was very thankful she had no admirers.

The training instructor had been bombarded the entire day by gift after gift, bouquet after bouquet, mostly from the girl's many many admirers, first Hayate, then Nanoha, Vita was certain that some where Fate was getting bombarded by gifts too. In fact the giant pile of gifts had blocked out the 19 year old from Vita's line of sight. "Oi Nanoha," Vita leaned back in her rolling office chair, trying to see the girl behind the flowers. "Are any of those actually from Fate?"

Nanoha leaned back, even leaning only her head and shoulders were visible, "Nyahaha," Nanoha rubbed the side of her head, "Actually no, Fate-chan gave me her gift this morning," a goofy happy grin grew on Nanoha's face, "Fate-chan's so cute," Nanoha squealed, probably because of what she was remembering.

Vita winced, people in love were scary. Vita stood up grabbing a file off her desk, "I'm gonna deliver this to Shamal." She eyed Nanoha's desk (and the pile of flowers that threatened to overflow) one last time, "Don't get buried." Nanoha didn't seem to notice she was leaving, to caught up in love-love memories.

Even the halls were filled with them! Couples or soon to be couples, standing around giving gifts, making plans or just flirting. Vita took it upon herself to tell (more like yell) several of the more irritating ones to get back to work. At least she knew the other Wolkenritter wouldn't be tempted, they'd gone hundreds of years without dating just because they had the time now didn't mean they would.

Vita gripped the handle of Shamal's office's door, with a single motion she opened the door, "Shamal I have th-WHAT THE HELL!"

"V-vita," A very red Shamal sprung apart from a much redder Signum.

Vita's jaw was somewhere around her feet and she had the urge to gouge out her eyes. She slowly looked at the two of them, from Shamal who was straightening her lab coat to Signum who was buttoning up her jacket and trying to look like it was perfectly normal for her and Shamal to be making out in the doctor's office. What were they horny teenagers?! Couldn't wait 'til they got home!?

"Um…" Shamal waved her fingers in the air, "We were just well…"

"I don't want to know!" Vita shoved the folder at the doctor. "I don't want to know! I don't want to know!" Vita dashed out of the room and slammed the door shut faster then you can say traumatized for life. Okay so two of the Wolkenritter were a couple, Vita should have seen it coming really; they had been making googley eyes at each other for at least a hundred years. At least she could take comfort in the fact Zafira and Rein would never do such frivolous things.

There was the unison device herself, whistling a merry tune as she zipped down the hall. "Ah Vita!" She came to a sudden halt in mid air.

"Mmm oh hey Rein," Vita waved half-heartedly disturbing images still in her head. When the small girl didn't go away Vita asked her, "Do you need something?"

Rein nodded happily, "Do you know where Agito is?" She pulled a daisy out from behind her back; she needed both hands to hold it as it was nearly as tall as her, Vita was surprised she hadn't noticed it, "I want to give her this!"

"No idea," Vita stormed forward, alright so Rein too had strayed into the path of love even if she didn't really know it. But there was still Zafira, good loyal Zafira who would never ever ever go on a date, even if he could find someone to date him.

* * *

"What do you mean you have a date?" Vita couldn't believe it! Even Zafira had someone and he was a dog! She sat on Hayate's bed as Zafira used the mirror to fix himself up. In honor of the day of love Hayate let everyone go home early, so now not only did Vita have to suffer through Valentine's day now she had even more free time!

The guardian beast started to loop his tie, "Well Arf said she wasn't doing anything tonight so I asked her if she'd accompany me to dinner." Knowing Zafira he probably used those exact words.

"But who will help me sta- I mean guard Hayate on her date tonight!" It was almost like a tradition, ever since Hayate started dating that ferret the Wolkenritter had always coincidentally gone to dinner at same restaurant.

He chuckled, "I think she'll be fine. She's grown into a fine lady. And besides…" he finished looping his tie and straightened it, looking proudly at his handy work in the mirror, "Yuuno knows what will happen if he does anything inappropriate." Vita had trouble telling if that was a protective glint in his eyes or an evil one.

"So when exactly are you two meeting?"

"Around 8 tonight," Zafira spun around, checking himself out from all angles.

Vita's eye twitched, "But Zafira it's 4, isn't it a little early."

Zafira looked off to the side, "Well I wanted to make sure the tux fit and I still haven't made a list of topics for conversations like that magazine suggested."

"List… topics?" Wait since when did Zafira read?

"Mm," he snapped, "And flowers. I should get her some flowers."

Vita pushed herself off the bed, "Okay then, I'll be going."

"Or maybe chocolates… wait chocolates are poisonous to dogs aren't they? Maybe a nice steak…" Vita left the wolf contemplating his gift choice, so all the Wolkenritter were exploring the realms of romance. So what? So Vita was the only dateless one in her family. It didn't matter. Vita definitely didn't care at all. Vita exited their house; a nice walk by her self was just what she needed.

It was a short walk from Hayate's (new) house to the main street of the very busy Mid-Childa capital. Unthinking Vita had wandered there, not realizing that she was walking into date central.

Poor Vita, she had thought it was bad at work, but this place was even worse. They were crawling around everywhere, holding hands as they walked down the street, sharing ice cream cones, making out in dark corners where they thought no one could see them but everyone easily could.

Vita needed to escape and escape fast. She searched for some where that would be couple free, anywhere! That's when she spied it. An arcade! Geeks who go to arcades were sure to be dateless. She ducked inside. She was right no couples at al—

"It's so cute."

"I-I-I'll get it for you!"

Vita's eye twitched as she turned around. The youngest of the forwards were hovering over a crane game. Erio's face was as red as his hair while he tried in vain to win a small dragon plushie while Caro cheered him on.

Vita turned around, the two may not have figured it out yet but they were undeniably a couple. Surely there was no one else ther—

"Mou Tia's so good at shooting games"

"Stupid it's because I use a gun device." Whack.

"Ow"

And the other set of forwards were there too. Great.

Vita groaned in frustration and ran out, determined to find somewhere coupleless. There had to be somewhere! She collapsed on a bench, not noticing it was in front of a fancy restaurant's window.

**This is a nice evening isn't it**

**My master loves clear nights**

**Sir loves them as well**

**I love you**

**I love you too**

Vita's eyes grew wide and she started to sweat. What the hell? What the hell was this? A very very quick glance revealed that Raising Heart and Baridiche were indeed having dinner in the restaurant behind her. She didn't want to know how that worked.

"Even the devices! Why am I the only dateless one?" Vita groaned and rested her face in her hands.

**Nein!**

Vita blinked and looked down. "Graf eisen?"

**Ich liebe dich**

"…" Vita sighed and patted the device on its chain. "Ya ya I guess it's just you and me huh."

**Nein!**

"No?" Vita was surprised, was she being rejected by her device now?

**Laevatein auch**

"Hell no! This is a monogamous relationship!" What the hell was Vita talking about? Graf Eisen was her device.

**…**

"Don't be like that."

**Bitte **

Vita hated Valentine's day and it seemed like she always would.

A/N: Reviews are always welcome reminders to keep writing :p

And so you know

Nein No

Ich liebe dich I love you

Laevatein auch laevatein too

Bitte Please


	7. Pudgy Puppy

* * *

  


* * *

  


* * *

  


A/N: This came about after I was shown a picture of a particularly large dog and is in fact based on a true story.

Disclaimer: As usual I don't own MGLN

* * *

It was a nice peaceful evening at the Yagami residence. One of those nice ones where for once there was no great huge pile of paperwork to deal with and they could all just enjoy the company of each other. So of course they were all doing completely different things.

Signum was taking the time to flip idly through the television channels while Shamal was busying herself braiding the distracted knight's hair in ways that were definitely not beneficial to Signum's fierce image. Agito and Rein were fighting about something no one understood in the background. Vita meanwhile was comfortably resting her head in Hayate's lap, too happy to be annoyed by Signum's flipping. Zafira was taking a nap at their feet and the mistress of the Wolkenritter was reading a very peculiar magazine.

Earlier in the day, when Hayate had taken Zafira on his daily walk, they found that if the giant wolf walked himself he frightened people, Hayate had had the misfortune of running into a familiar enthusiast. The woman had cooed over how handsome Zafira was, how silky smooth his fur was, how big his teeth were and just generally giving him a big ego. She had then handed Hayate an issue of Familiar digest monthly and walked off shouting something about a meeting.

So now, having no other reading material, Hayate was reading the bizarre magazine for weirdo enthusiasts.

"The current weight problem in… familiars?" Hayate read out loud.

The others, save for the sleeping dog, all turned to her.

"Weight problems?" Vita snorted, "like a familiar could have that kind of trouble."

"…" They all stayed quiet after her words.

"Read on," was all Signum said.

"Increased weight can make your familiar slower, take up more mana, and make him or her generally unappealing to potential 'playmates'," Hayate giggled. "The easiest way to tell look at your familiar in animal form from above, if he looks like a sausage he is overweight."

In sequence their heads all looked down.

"That's one big sausage."

* * *

"I'm going to go to bed," Zafira yawned as he woke up from his name, oblivious to all the eyes on him. He stumbled to his feet, "ophff." He slowly waddled towards the stairs. One step at a time he hobbled up them, "were these always so tough?"

As soon as he disappeared his family gathered 'round the magazine.

"Quick Hayate how do we get rid of this!" Shamal's eyes grew wide.

"Zafira will be useless to us if he can't move," Signum nodded sagely.

Rein's eyes grew wide, "I don't want him to die!"

"He's not going to die dummy!" Agito smacked her over the head and the two proceeded to fight in the background.

"Plus right now he's not looking pretty," Vita pointed out.

Hayate flipped through the magazine, "There are several methods to help your familiar lose weight…"

* * *

**Method 1: Diet**

"…" Zafira stared at what was in his bowl, or more like what wasn't in it. "And this is…"

"I thought I'd try something new," Hayate offered. "Yummy veggies and all."

"But… the meat." He pawed the bowl. "There's none of it around.

"Hey Hayate what will we be eating tonig—" Vita halted as she reached her place at the table. "… Where's the real food?"

"Vita you know we all eat the same things here, no one has a special meal," Shamal giggled and patted Vita's head.

Vita pouted.

Signum was the last to come down. "Ah yes I'm quite hungry." She sat down without looking at the plate. She forked up the food and stuffed it into her mouth. "…" With the force of a rocket launcher she spat out the food. "What. Was. That?"

"Vegetables for you know what," Hayate waggled her eyebrows.

"What do I have to eat them?"

"Healthy food never killed anyone Signum," Shamal pointed out.

"Are you calling me fat?"

Shamal shrugged.

Signum's mouth hung open.

Hayate facepalmed, "Maybe this isn't going to work…"

* * *

**Method 2: Exercise**

"Hey Zafira ready for a walk," Vita spun around his leash around in her hands.

Zafira blinked, "Didn't I just take one?"

"Another one couldn't hurt ya come on!" She practically dragged him outside.

"A-Alright."

Thirty minutes later.

"Zafira let's spar," Signum already had leviathan out and ready.

Zafira's eyes widened. "Right here?"

"But of course."

"But this is the living room."

"And one must live in the living room, and life is battle so we should spar."

"I-I don't know if Hayate will appreciate your logic much."

His response was leviathan coming in too close for comfort next to his head.

One hour later

"Zafira!" Shamal ran down the steps, "I want to move my things from my room into Signum's!"

Zafira blinked, "Then why isn't Signum helping you?"

She looked from side to side, "She's busy…"

"But I was just sparing with her—"

"SHE'S BUSY!"

He tensed up, "Of course. I'll help at once!"

Thirty minutes later.

"On second thought I feel like moving it all back."

Zafira sighed.

Ten minutes later

Rein and Agito zoomed down to Zafira's level. "We need you to settle an argument!" They shouted at once.

Zafira blinked. "What is it?"

Rein nodded quickly, "Show us how many pushups you can do!"

"Followed by sit-ups!" Agito chimed in.

"Huh?"

That night

An exhausted, weary Zafira finally got a moment of rest and collapsed in front of the sofa, it was that moment Hayate decided to burst in.

"Zafira I nee—"

"NO!"

* * *

**Method 3: Sweat it out**

"Don't worry Zafira, saunas are perfectly safe," Vita assured him as she pushed him toward little wooden building.

"But I'm a wolf!"

"Yeah yeah we all know that Zaffy" Vita rolled her eyes and shoved him in.

"But Vita!"

She slammed the door in his face.

"Now that that's done," Vita wandered off.

Ten minutes later.

"Is Zafira still in there?" Signum looked down at Vita.

Vita shrugged, "Last thing I remember he was complaining about being a wolf."

Hayate blinked, "Vita he didn't go into there as a wolf did he?"

Vita looked at her as if it was obvious. "Well of course he did!"

The other women all face palmed.

Shamal shook her head, "Vita, wolves can't sweat."

Vita paled and ran off.

As soon as she arrived at the sauna she ripped open the door, "Zafira!"

The poor wolf was sprawled on the ground, panting like there was no tomorrow, "I'm going to get you for this."

* * *

**Methods failed**

Hayate sighed and she and the other female members of her family gathered around the magazine. "Zafira hasn't lost nearly enough weight, and he keeps putting it back on."

Agito rubbed her chin, "Maybe we should burn it out of him."

The others looked at her in horror.

"It was just a thought."

"We have to find the source!" Vita announced, "There has to be something causing him to get so pudgy!"

"But all he does is look after Vivio all day," Signum rubbed her chin, "what are we missing?"

"Some rare disease? An allergy?" Shamal offered.

"Or perhaps he's just being lazy and letting it all go," Rein squeaked out with a smile.

They all stared at her.

She looked confused, "What? That's what Amy said Chrono's doing."

"Zaffy" Vivio ran into the living room, she had been spending the day at Hayate's. "I'm looking for you and I got a treat!" There, in Vivio's hands, was a box that suspiciously resembled a certain snack cake's box.

"And there it is," Hayate rubbed her forehead, "he's not sick just a pig."

* * *

**Two weeks later**

"Wow Zafira you look great!" Rein spun around the giant and now thinner wolf.

"Thank you," he nodded. "It's good to be back to norma—"

"HAYATE!" Vita's cry came from the kitchen.

They all ran in and found Vita pouring over the familiar magazine.

"Zafira doesn't have glistening fur like he's supposed to!" Vita held up the magazine.

Zafira slowly backed towards the door.

They all turned with an evil glint in their eyes. "Bath time puppy."

Zafira whimpered.

* * *

A/N: Reviews are love :D


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